The struggle

So today I'm fighting all my urges to go and pick up some dollar tree tests. I was thinking maybe I could test the hcg out of my system and then I would know if I got a real positive after it I would actually be pregnant. All of these symptoms would be from pregnancy and not in my head you know?  But alas I have decided not to do it. I think it will put more stress and frustration in my life. I'm putting this in God's hands and we will find out Tuesday when I get my beta test if this worked. I still don't feel any different though, my boobs are still really sore and swollen and I'm still really bloated. I have been having more dreams but they are more random and vivid. I also pee all day and night! I swear I wake up 5 times a night to either go pee or just random no reason waking up. Part of it is Emma ending up in our bed every night got whatever random reason. She has been really clingy the last few weeks. She will go months sleeping in her own bed and now it seems like the last few weeks she ends up in here at 2am. When you ask her why she comes up with different excuses "I was too hot/cold/scared of the dark/legs hurt (she has grown 3 1/2 in the last year alone)" I don't really mind it to be honest though because I love waking up and having her snuggle me. It sets the mood for the day for sure and getting showered in little hugs and kisses makes my day. It won't be like this forever so I want to enjoy it while it lasts. If this is my only time experiencing these things I want to remember them and I want her to remember them too!