Here come the mood swings...

So it all started this afternoon when we couldn't decide where to eat, originally I planned on cooking dinner but I thought I was feeling better and wanted to get out of the house for a bit. I was just going to grab a coffee from Dunkin and run over and feed a friends fish since she is out of town but then we decided on eating out. We don't eat out much just because it's expensive, unhealthy and Dover doesn't have a lot of options. So we're driving and neither one of us can agree on somewhere to eat, both getting hangry (hunger turning into anger) and Em is in the back rattling off about something and I feel like I'm going to snap. Finally we picked a place to eat and then ran to grab a few things and then came home. THEN it happens again out of no where I'm pissed again. In between the bedtime routine, my daughter screaming and refusing to sleep like a normal person I just feel rage. I often wonder during these cycles how I would handle 2 kids and maybe my infertility is because I can't handle Em sometimes that's why I can't have more. Right now my rage is mainly on I'm upset that I have to do these treatments. I'm angry that I have to stick myself every night injecting this crap in me and I don't even know if it's going to work. Why is it that people who are horrible parents are the most fertile? The crack heads on the the streets who dump their babies in trash cans, why can't they be infertile? They should be... But nope they are more fertile than me! That's when the anger turns into a pity party for one though. It's this cycle, it's these drugs, they are making me crazy... I hope that's what it is and that I'm not actually losing my mind!