Where do I belong?

So in an effort to find support aside my own circle of friends and family I have joined several groups on Facebook. I joined a couple groups of women experiencing secondary infertility, a military infertility group and more recently a group for endo. I thought maybe if I could find others who were going through the same things I was, I would find a sense of belonging.
I don't really fit into the typical mold of a military wife, I don't really enjoy gossiping and I certainly do not like being at the other end of what seems like the relentless cattiness and backstabbing. I spend a lot of time inside my house for fear that if I go out, I will be brought back into the drama that was my life about a year ago. I also find it hard to see all of these women get  pregnant with ease and actually have the ability to "plan" their children around  deployments, school, jobs etc. I am so envious of them, that they have the ability to do so, while for almost 2 years I feel like I have held on to some hope that I too will magically become pregnant so I shouldn't get a job and put Emma in preschool, or go to school because I don't want to start and then have to take a block of time out to be home again.
So back to where do I belong in all of this, when people think of infertility they assume I don't really "count" because Emma was conceived naturally without being planned. When people Endo they usually have a lot of pain and we are talking not able to move and being on high doses of pain medication pain, and I don't have that, not yet at least but that could change down the road. I obviously don't fit in with the fertile myrtles because I can't just look at my husband and get pregnant, and I don't really fit into the secondary category as well as you would think because of my age.
Research is showing that women who suffer from secondary infertility are more likely in this category because women in general are waiting till they are older to start families. I didn't have Emma till I was 25, and now being 28 I am not sure when or if I will have another one. There is still the unknown factors as well as to what is causing my infertility. If you read my first post I told you that my RE (reproductive endocrinology)  told me that he thinks that all of the issues they found are the reason why I haven't conceived, but he also has mentioned that I didn't respond "as well as I should have" to the super ovulation drugs which could indicate an issue with my egg quality. There really isn't a test they can do to check the "quality" aside from when you do IVF they are able to examine your eggs when they harvest them prior to your "planting". The idea that I have bad eggs scares the crap out of me! Other than quantity, quality is not something they can fix. Now I don't have 20 grand to find out  either way, and I am not sure if that would be something that we want to do.  As of right now our plan is to let my body heal from the surgery, let all these different drugs I have pumped into my body get out, get back into shape and just let the next few months roll. If nothing happens in a few months then we will try one more round of super ovulation, and if that doesn't work, well.... well let's just hope it does! Positive thinking, I will get pregnant! I will get knocked up! I will not lose my ever loving mind! I will be happy!
In all seriousness, at the end of each and every day I thank God for what I have now. I thank him for blessing me with an amazing child who makes me laugh everyday and keeps me on my toes. There is nothing more profound to me then watching my daughter learn something new, have an experience, or make a memory. I hope that someday that she will know just how grateful I am for her. I thank God for giving me a husband who loves me unconditionally. No matter which level of bat shit crazy I am acting, he just smiles at me. I love watching him and Emma play together, grow together and make memories together. I hope one day she finds a man just like her daddy, and he loves her as much as we do.
There are days I feel sorry for myself and not being able to have control in this whole thing. There are nights I long and dream of having a house full of children and hearing them laugh and play together brings tears to my eyes. I wonder if Emma will be angry she never had a sibling to grow up with and that we will place the burden of us getting older on her alone. For now though, I relish in the fact that she is 3 and she doesn't know any different. I can't let my thoughts run wild and I have to remind myself that its the here and now that matter. What we do today, is what counts and that's is how I am going to keep living.